New Study Proclaims: Sleeping More or Less Than 8 Hours Will Kill You

A groundbreaking research study has discovered that not getting your 8 hours of sleep is killing you.

This study, which was conducted by the Sleep Awareness Department at the Lumina Institute of Health, included a sample group of 50,000 famous and influential people over the past 500 years. In this landmark discovery, sleeping habits were inextricably linked to mortality rates. Those who slept more or less than 8 hours per night were found to have a nearly 100% chance of dying.

“We’ve been recommending 8 hours of sleep for decades,” said Dr. Benjamin Lawson, who has a family practice in Albuquerque, New Mexico. “But I never realized it was this important.”

Sleep has long been a subject of study, with many experts recommending 8 hours of sleep as being necessary for childhood development, longevity, and being able to function without biting people’s heads off. This new study confirms just how crucial that number has become.

“We found that in the long-term, non-standard sleeping scheduled resulted in complete mortality for all participants involved,” stated the study’s lead author, Alberto Duarte. “We are looking to do additional research on the effect of not sleeping.”

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